this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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