Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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