Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
