Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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