I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
