Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize