I showed him my bush... on skype.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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