I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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