Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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