Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
