watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it was like eating out sand paper
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
