I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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