i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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