i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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