it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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