Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
