What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Randomize