Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
