I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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