He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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