Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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