I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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