If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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