i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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