My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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