Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
