pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
