Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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