Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where are my eyebrows?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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