he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize