I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize