PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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