C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
