"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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