I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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