Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
