Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
