Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
