I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she told me i tasted like america
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
