Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
