I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I believe in your delicious
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
