when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
