i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
