whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
