Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
