I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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