I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
PANTIES FOUND
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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