So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
