I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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