reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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