he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize