just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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