Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
