When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
