I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
