she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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