This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
