She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
