The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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