so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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