I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
