People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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