He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
